A Seeker's Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self by Trey Carland
Author:Trey Carland [Carland, Trey]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2011-12-21T16:00:00+00:00
Chapter 40: Eliminating Time
March 11, 2008
"You cannot make the egoless state into a future goal and then work toward it... because it will always seem that you have not arrived yet... Look carefully to find out if your spiritual search is a disguised form of ego. Even trying to get rid of your “self” can be a disguised search for more if the getting rid of your “self” is made into a future goal.”
A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle (Page 206)
When reading the quote above under the section on eliminating time, I reread that first paragraph three times, with the full meaning hitting home harder and harder each time, taking me into wakefulness, as if I were watching a movie of my hands holding the book and the print on the page. A sense of joy pervaded me, as well as a little fear of the unknown. I realized that I had indeed made my quest for truth, to be free of ego, into just another obstacle to finding it. I realized that I could never find it if I was in search of it. It’s right here. Just step out of time.
Upon later observation I found that I unknowingly spend a great deal of my time thinking about what I’m going to say or do at some point, wondering what to do or say next, what might happen if I do it, what other people (or dogs) think of me, how I’m shaping that image, what’s expected of me, why I do these things, etc. I’m frequently unconsciously looking for distractions to avoid being fully present, even if those distractions involve ways to get to the present moment. Lost in thought or doing, but not in what I’m doing right Now. Touching presence periodically but not committing. “Where am I now?” is a question that pulls me back to center when I realize I’m lost in thought.
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